Blowin' in the Wind

All my life I have been an outcast. Leaves remind me of my hopes and dreams - blown away by the wind and crushed into dirt by the weight of life. My heart is heavy with grief and sadness. My energy sapped by the energy required to maintain the facade. I don't know how to dig myself out of depression. If I could just snap out of it, I surely would; no one wants to live like this. There have been times when I thought I should just take myself out of existence. I have a lot to offer the world but it is hidden and locked away somewhere deep inside me. Loneliness and isolation have become my security blankets. I work, I come home and do what has to be done and sometimes create beautiful jewelry and sometimes I just create crap. What once gave me pleasure now seems like work. It doesn't help that it is bitter cold and the snow keeps coming. I am grateful for a warm place to live and a comfortable spot to curl up at night. I want to remove this stifling cloak of depression but it's too heavy for me to lift. I write of my inner torment because it may help someone else to know that they are not alone in feeling pummeled by life. I know from experience that it didn't come to stay, it came to pass.